Q: My mother is 76 and a diabetic. Several months ago she announced that she no longer likes meat. It makes her gag. Well, now she doesn’t like anything and will even shove aside a bowl of soup if she finds a little piece of meat in it She just doesn’t have any interest at all in food. For a while she was eating nothing but sweets but now she says they don’t even interest her. I watched her take a bite of a mozzarella stick last night and put it down because she didn’t like it. What is wrong with her?

She is on meds for diabetes, blood pressure, and thyroid but has been for a long time. This loss of appetite is something relatively new. She has always struggled with her weight which is about 175 pounds. She’s 5’5” if that! What could be wrong with her and who does she have no interest in food? All she’ll eat is a bowl of cereal.

A: You don’t indicate if your mother lives with you but from the tone of your letter my perception is that she does. I can understand your frustration and wonder if there are other areas of her daily living that have been as drastically altered that might shed some light on things. For example, is she wearing her clothes for several days preferring not to change them? Does she prefer not to bathe regularly or comb the hair she once was so proud of? Did she recently stop reading the daily newspaper or watching her favorite afternoon television show, lose a good friend to a particularly devastating illness or did that friend simply move away and she has no one to talk to?

Does she ever participate in purchasing the groceries, meal preparation, setting the table to help, or taking an active interest in any phase of the meal process? Perhaps she feels unneeded in the household and is revolting in the only way she knows. If you have a family birthday coming up, routinely have a large Sunday mid-day meal, or if Friday evening is always lasagna night, try asking her to help in the kitchen. Ask her to join you when you do the shopping and get her opinion on the type of mushrooms to buy or the dessert that should be served.

I may be way off base but it appears something is going on with your mother that she is rebelling against. Something may have been said that she misinterpreted, such as you indicating the cost of meat has risen so high that you cannot afford to buy it. This is a common form of grumbling that keeps a conversation going, much like the weather, yet your mother may be doing her part by eliminating meat from her diet.

Is your mother having difficulties with her teeth? If she has her own, she may have a cavity and finds chewing meat difficult. If she has a false plate, perhaps her weight variation is causing her teeth to rub against her gums which, in turn, could make eating painful. Again, she might respond by keeping the pain issue to herself.

She could have dysphagia (difficulties swallowing) that can easily be checked out by her physician. If this is the case, assure her you will accompany her to her appointment to help interpret what is going on. .

If she has been on the same medications for an extended period of time, they may not be as effective as they once were or there may be a new crossover reaction causing a lack of appetite. Accompany her to her next medical visit (with her permission, of course) to discuss the possibility.

You indicate your mother has diabetes, yet she was on a candy kick that could not have been in her best interests medically. Did anyone sit down with her to discuss the issue? Perhaps she was rebelling. We’re a fickle lot – the whole bunch of us. We crave and almost demand attention and acceptance, only to reject those very things when our wishes are fulfilled.

It will be in her best interests (and yours) if you have a frank discussion with her. Indicate you want her to remain healthy and that, in large part, can only be accomplished if she eats better. If your pleas fall on deaf ears, perhaps she will speak with a friend, therapist, or her clergyman.