Q I’ve been dating a man for one year. He is 53-years old. He has diet that consists of meat and potatoes or pasta. He cooks processed foods, too. He drinks beer daily and has a beer gut. He works as a mechanic and that is his only form of exercise. He hopes to retire in a few years.
He does not have health issues and does not take medication, so he never sees he doctor. My concern is because he does not eat fruits or vegetables. How will this affect his health in the future? Please advise.
A: As has been said, man does not live by bread alone. Eating a good balance of the right foods is important for everyone’s well being. We want strong teeth and bones and wish to be able to avoid conditions such as obesity, diabetes and cardiac disorders. We don’t want to drag through each day out of shape, vitamin deficient, and unable to function at the top of our game. And, in order to accomplish this, we must eat properly which is essentially done through consuming fresh fruits and vegetables, fish high in omega-3 fish oils, lean cuts of beef, fortified grains and dairy products.
Your friend has scraped along thus far, doesn’t knowingly have health issues, but you indicate he has excess weight around his mid section. Because he never sees a doctor, doesn’t know if he is at high risk for diabetes, hasn’t a clue what his cholesterol or blood pressure readings are, doesn’t know if he is anemic and likely doesn’t care either way, I must side with you; however, the steps to take won’t be easy ones. Things won’t happen overnight and it may be that his outlook is something of a family trait to stick his head in he sand and pretend everything is okay or – worse yet – not care whether it is or not. You don’t indicate if he smokes and that answer could sway the balance of things heavily.
I don’t know what you will be looking for in the future but if you plan on spending some quality years with him, I suggest you sit down for a frank talk. Don’t point out his short-comings in terms of his dietary likes and dislikes. Instead, let him know you care about him and want him around for many years. Ask if he lost any family members to cardiac issues, heart attack, or other medical disorders that might need addressing. If the answer is yes, take his hand and tell him you will be with him every step of the way to assure he doesn’t follow suit (at least without a good fight). Ask if he will work with you while you both incorporate having orange juice with breakfast, fresh vegetables with dinner, and skim milk and sliced bananas or berries on the morning’s cold cereal. Things might be easier if you both plan a schedule of eating well and exercising properly together.
Next comes a giant step. Ask if you can make an appointment for him with a health care professional so he can have an examination, basic laboratory testing and a baseline EKG. He should probably also be seen by a dentist and a gastroenterologist. We’ll save the recommendation of a colonoscopy for another day but he is of the age when one should be done. You can’t fix things if you don’t know what is broken. Lastly, the tough part. If he is happy with his lifestyle and unwilling to modify simple things such as eating peas once a week, you have a difficult decision to make. Do you stick by him and hope love will conquer all (which it rarely does) or do you walk away from the relationship and get on with your life? It’s certainly true that you could establish a bond with a seemingly healthy, well balanced new partner that could have a plethora of medical issues surface that cause him to succumb early but that’s less likely than sticking with someone that is certain to fall short in the health department. I wish you luck. You will certainly need it.
