Q: My spouse is showing signs of mental illness. He is currently taking medication for his condition. His symptoms are doing things and not remembering doing them. He has almost destroyed the inside of the house as well as stretching and destroying my clothes and personal belongings.
I have tried to help him but he keeps insisting that there is nothing wrong with him. I’m at the point that I feel fearful of him. Does this sound like a dangerous situation and should I take preventive action. I care deeply for him but don’t know what to do.
A: If you are fearful of your husband’s actions and he is causing physical damage with no later recall, it is absolutely a dangerous situation. The best thing you could do is to move out to a place you feel safe. I’m not saying to NOT help him, but you can’t do that if you are injured or worse during one his episodes.
Unfortunately, until your husband is physically violent toward you, himself or someone else, there is little chance of having him admitted to hospital. Otherwise, he must consent. Mental illness can be extremely difficult for physicians, patients and loved ones. In situations such as yours, your husband doesn’t realize what he is doing and therefore, doesn’t believe there is a problem. Until the sufferer acknowledges this, most refuse to undergo treatment.
You don’t mention what type of mental illness your husband is suffering from and claim he is on medication (which you also don’t mention). What is his diagnosis? Is there a possibility that he is suffering from a neurological condition? Is he undergoing counseling? Can you confirm that he is actually taking his medication as prescribed? Is there a possibility that he is using illicit drugs, over-indulging in alcohol or abusing prescription medications? Has anything seemed to “bring on” one of the attacks or do they occur spontaneously? Are they progressively getting more frequent or severe? What is he like between episodes?
Because you’ve given me so little go on, I cannot provide you with the type of answer you are looking for. Your best option is to speak with his psychiatrist or doctor regarding his behavior. Due to HIPAA regulations, unless your husband signed a form that allows his doctor to speak to you, you may not be able to find anything out regarding his diagnosis or treatment, but that doesn’t prevent you from sharing your concerns. This will not only help the doctor, but it will help you and those around your husband who may be affected by his actions. Furthermore, the doctor will have more information on whether to possibly have him committed if there is reason to believe your husband is a danger to himself or others.
In the meantime, try speaking to your husband in a calm manner about your concerns for both his safety and the safety of others. You must reinforce that you care for him and only want him to be healthy, both mentally and physically but that he needs to acknowledge the fact that he needs help and guidance by a mental health specialist or hospital to start him on the right path to recovery.
