Q: We recently had a family move next door to us and one of the children has autism. I want to be supportive and enjoy our new friends but I would be grateful and feel more comfortable if you could provide some information on autism in general.
A: Autism is a complex developmental disability. It is believed the condition presents during the first three years of a person’s life, affecting communication and social interaction skills. Individuals with autism have difficulties with non-verbal communication, social interactions, and specific activities. While no two people will have exactly the same symptoms, each will typically prefer to maintain a set of specific behaviors and will resist changes to daily activity – whether major or minor. If symptoms are minor, the child may appear socially awkward and out of touch with others. When symptoms are more severe, the ASD patient may distance him or herself from other people and prefer to remain withdrawn. Minimal eye contact will be made with others and he or she may appear unaware someone is speaking with them. It may be extremely difficult for the patient to accept or understand the feelings of others, yet with frequent reminders from family and caregivers, improvement can be observed in this regard. Cognitive skills will develop early on, while social and language skills will lack dramatically.
An attempt at conversation may appear futile with patients at the more severe end of the spectrum. The patient may be in a comfort zone with a specific subject and may talk about it, yet there will be minimal or no exchange of ideas or feelings with others. While we all often prefer to talk about ourselves, the ASD patient will do so much more frequently. Some (but not all) children with the condition will dislike being hugged or even touched by anyone. An exception to this is when the ASD patient anticipates, expects, and even allows, a parent or other individual to offer a hug or hold a hand. Loud noises may be met with alarm and uneasiness, as can temperature variations, changing the lighting in a room, or smell something different. Some researchers believe it not specifically the increased intensity of noise, temperature, lighting or the smells but the surprise of it and the inability to cope quickly to the change. Therefore, informing him or her of the occurrence in advance may lessen the severity of the reaction.
The greater the severity of autism, the more the person’s speaking skills will be affected. Many children will not speak at all, or they may repeat words and phrases over and over again. Speech may be more formal and flat and lacking expression than that to which we are accustomed.
An important thing to remember is that the autistic individual feels pain, love, happiness and sadness just as others without the condition do. Routine and predictability are comfort markers for the autistic child. He or she may be unable to express feelings as well as a person who can walk up to someone, hug them, wear a big smile, and look forward to a wonderful day. Following specific routines for getting to the breakfast table or getting ready for bed will provide comfort; however, placing the steps in a different order in preparation for meals or bed time can cause major issues.
In summary, your autistic neighbor can hear you and will pick up on the fact that you may be uncomfortable in his or her presence, so act as normal as possible, be as predictable as possible, and remain understanding. Then relax and enjoy your new-found friends.
