Q: My little granddaughter is six years old and so advanced for her age. She will enter kindergarten this fall, as she was not old enough last year but was in preschool for two years.
She always wants to sleep with grandma and I can never turn her down but for some time now she has these nightmares and it is so frightening. She will start screaming, stand up in bed, or just lay there screaming and crying.
I try to calm her down by talking with her and hugging her to tell her it is okay but it is so frightening. Her mommy and daddy say she does this all the time. This past weekend she visited me. The whole family was here (two older sisters and the 2 ½ year old baby). She always seems so confused, like she is in another world. She will stand up and walk on the bed. I’m afraid she will fall and hurt herself.
Would you have any suggestions or is this something she will be able to grow out of? I told her daddy I would write you. Thank you in advance.
A: Dreams and nightmares occur during the stage of sleep known as REM (rapid eye movement) when the brain is very active. The eyelids are closed but the eyes move rapidly behind those closed lids, commonly during the second half of a night’s sleep. As the child awakens, the images he or she was dreaming of remain fresh and very real. That is why when having a nightmare they call out, scream, cry or appear to behave in an irrational manner. Generally by preschool age children can comprehend that nightmares are not real, that what they have dreamed will not harm them. Having said that, even older children will require assurance that someone is there when they need them.
Nightmares can occur for no reason at all or may be the result of watching a scary television show or movie, being scolded at home or school, reading a frightening book, seeing someone they perceive might hurt them, or for countless other reasons. A child may fear moving to a new home, that his or her parents are fighting too much, a sibling will harm them or is getting more attention, or they will be blamed because of a broken toy. The possibilities are limitless. Images, characters and scary things are very real to them, regardless of the age.
If your granddaughter’s bad dreams occur within two to three hours of her falling asleep, she may be experiencing night terrors and over-arousal of the central nervous system that regulates while the sleep/wake phase is still maturing. They occur during non-REM sleep and are often found in children who are overtired, on new medication, stressed, or who may be sleeping in a different environment than the one they are accustomed to. They commonly occur between the ages of 4 and 12, more commonly in boys than in girls, but have been reported in infants as young as 18 months. These fearful reactions which can include screaming, thrashing around and being scared happen between the different phases of sleep. When night terrors occur, the child will not respond to your efforts to comfort or reassure her and she won’t remember the experience when she awakens because she was in a deep sleep at the time and there are no scary mental images to remember. It is often difficult to comprehend which experience she is undergoing except for the timing of the incident. The child should simply be protected and in the majority of cases, and will resume sleep once it is over.
Nightmares can occur for a specific reason, or for no reason at all. Parents, grandparents, babysitters and others in the household cannot prevent scary things entering a child’s nightmares but they can do a great deal to assure the child or children understand they are there and will protect them. Begin by scanning the room with your grandchild in hand. Open the closet doors to be sure things are safe. Look under the bed. If reading a bedtime story is tradition, you can select the book together but it shouldn’t be one with scary characters or situations, even if the story ends well. Fold down the covers and allow the child to select a favorite teddy bear or other stuffed animal to take to bed. Turn on a night light that will prevent the room from being in total darkness. In other words, within reason do whatever it takes to reassure your granddaughter that she is safe, that you will only be a room or two away if she calls out. And, if she does, sit on the side of the bed to remind her that her nightmare was scary and upsetting but it was just that – a bad dream. And, it is over. In a comforting voice remind her that she needs to get back to sleep so you can make her favorite breakfast in the morning. If in the morning the thoughts are still with her, discuss them briefly and get on with a wonderful day with her.
With either situation, if intervention is deemed appropriate, I recommend you visit a sleep specialist for further assistance.
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