DEAR DR. GOTT: In a recent article about a 12-year-old boy wetting the bed, you addressed the physical reasons but failed to pick up on other issues. Although you did mention sexual abuse, you did not take into consideration that this young boy could be a victim of bullying or harassment at school, in the neighborhood or other outlying scenarios.
If the parents are not aware of such circumstances, the boy may be afraid to mention the situation, thus keeping his feelings in until they manifest themselves in the bedwetting problem.
DEAR DR. GOTT: Your bedwetting article drew my attention. One of the first things that I would recommend these parents investigate would be some kind of emotional trauma — bullying or sexual or physical abuse. An emotional event could likely trigger this kind of response.
DEAR DR. GOTT: Another possible cause of sudden onset bedwetting is molestation. I wet my bed until I was 16 because I was being molested by an older brother. When I was wet, he wouldn’t come to my bed at night. He used blackmail to keep me quiet. We were battered by our stepmother, so I could not go to her for help. I eventually got professional counseling. Now 62, I have been happily married for 41 years and have four grandchildren.
DEAR READERS: It appears that I was remiss when suggesting causes of sudden-onset bedwetting. I apologize.
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse are all valid causes for bedwetting. Problems can arise especially in children who do not seek help in resolving the situation (owing to fear or embarrassment) or feel they have no one to turn to.
If any of these is the cause, counseling or therapy are good places to start. Children may feel more comfortable without parents or guardians in the room during the sessions; however, it may be beneficial for the family to undergo therapy together, as well, especially in the case of molestation, so that the whole family can learn how to cope with the issue and develop tools to deal effectively with all the aftereffects that this type of abuse can cause.
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